Heart of the Matter eLetters

Making Friends with Fear

In a session this morning, a client said to me, “I’m stressing about stress and I’m afraid about fear…. I’ve realized that the fear is everywhere, consciously or unconsciously.”

I’ve been there. Haven’t we all? My client was about to begin a series of new projects that involve some difficult people. Many of my own projects and life experiences—and ALL my major breakthroughs—have initially included fear.

I have spent more than 30 years learning about fear and helping others make friends with their fear. This is a complex subject. Here are some of my perspectives.

The Heart of the Matter: Fear is not inherently a problem. When you get down to the very basis of fear, it is just simply there—as predictably there as clouds in the sky and arms and legs on our bodies. It is a feeling, a reaction that lives only in the lower vibrational levels of our existence. On the higher vibrational levels, there is no fear.

I suggest that we make friends with the fear and create a more balanced relationship with it. This is easier said than done and it takes practice. Understandably, most of us expend a great deal of energy pushing our fear away, hiding from it, pretending it’s not there.

You can keep your power in the face of your fear. The key is to give up resisting your fear. Self acceptance is always a bridge toward the higher vibrational levels and, at the higher vibrational levels, there is no fear.

Try This: What we are aiming for is to comfortably feel the fear and, simultaneously, to include the higher vibrational levels where there is no fear.

Expand Your Energy

On the energy level, we tend to contract around the feeling of fear. To reverse this contraction:

1. Rest into your body. Take some time with this.

2. Expand your energy (spirit) in and through your torso.

3. Notice that expanding your energy creates space. When you add space, the fear is then relatively smaller. It is much easier to live with the feeling.

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